Frustrating

Growing up I thought being an adult was all about sitting at the kitchen table smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee, complaining about life, and gossiping about other people. Little did I know there were good things to talk about too!
Boy was it awkward when I sat down and started bitching one day and they looked at me and asked: "Don't you have anything positive to talk about?"

I am always the last to know, late for dinner or totally clueless about things. I don't know if it is for the lack of trying or just my sheer ignorance to what is going on around me. I try not to get involved with family things because it really hardly ever has to do with me. So I really shouldn't bitch about anyone because I just know the whole story. True. Because I don't want to know.

It is hard when you grew up with negativity to be positive about things. I tried. I would come to those kitchen table conversations with a positive attitude and felt I could turn this conversation around. I would try to put a positive spin on things. Only to have them tell me I am too young to understand and I should just keep my mouth shut.

I have never been old enough to understand anything. Or I am still young, and have a lot to learn. Um..I am 45. I think I have learned about a few things by now. And according to my children, I am old.

Never good enough for them.