Ignorance

They say ignorance is bliss. But really, it is not. It is lonely. Because when you are ignorant to what is going on out there, you are essentially sitting on your couch watching TV while the whole world passes you by. You don't go anywhere you don't do anything because you don't know what is out there.

Ignorance is a handicap when it comes to life. When it gets down to it, you don't know how to react to things or how to say thank you and mean it. You can't share a life with someone when you are ignorant. You don't know how to share.

Ignorance is not a good thing. It just makes what you look like on the inside, become outside. And that is so ugly, no one wants to see it. You become detached from the world and start to not care about anything. Ignorance is like a wart that keeps getting bigger, and more unsightly.

Hiding behind your ignorance only makes people dislike you. Because if you really cared, people would too. About you. About where you are and what you are doing. You can't believe that being ignorant to things makes the rest of your life easier. It just makes it more complicated getting through the muck and the mire of ignorance.
It just makes a mess.

Just say you don't care. Just say you don't want to know. Don't play the ignorance card like some play the race card. You can't get out of it by playing it. It shows on your face. And no one feels sorry for someone who plays the card when it is so obvious that it IS your fault. Or maybe not fault but that you meant what you said. Ignorance doesn't cover mean words or un-rings the bell. It is out there. Ignorance only makes you look worse.

Frustrating

Growing up I thought being an adult was all about sitting at the kitchen table smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee, complaining about life, and gossiping about other people. Little did I know there were good things to talk about too!
Boy was it awkward when I sat down and started bitching one day and they looked at me and asked: "Don't you have anything positive to talk about?"

I am always the last to know, late for dinner or totally clueless about things. I don't know if it is for the lack of trying or just my sheer ignorance to what is going on around me. I try not to get involved with family things because it really hardly ever has to do with me. So I really shouldn't bitch about anyone because I just know the whole story. True. Because I don't want to know.

It is hard when you grew up with negativity to be positive about things. I tried. I would come to those kitchen table conversations with a positive attitude and felt I could turn this conversation around. I would try to put a positive spin on things. Only to have them tell me I am too young to understand and I should just keep my mouth shut.

I have never been old enough to understand anything. Or I am still young, and have a lot to learn. Um..I am 45. I think I have learned about a few things by now. And according to my children, I am old.

Never good enough for them.